Take Care of the Details

This week seems to be about messages concerning the after-effects of a bereavement, especially where Wills and Last Testaments are concerned.

I found myself saying more than once, “Where there is a Will, there’s a Family, there is an Argument.”  When we pass to Spirit, bricks and mortar and monies do not concern us anymore but if it has caused a division in family left behind, it is distressing.

No one likes to think about their ‘future’ passing, but it is a ‘fact of life’ and the one thing that ultimately we can’t avoid.  It is important that we make sure that our last wishes are known and that all of our legal documentation is done in a clear and fair way, so that there is no room for error and misunderstandings after we are ‘gone.’  The loss of a Loved One is difficult enough without being complicated by arguments over material things.

Namaste.

 

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Letter-writing

Our loved ones die and we are left to pick up the pieces.  We may try hard to create a picture-perfect vision of our loved one, but some of us have unfinished business with the deceased:  regrets, anger, or pain.  Grief can be complicated due to unresolved conflict, regret, or negative history with the person who has died.

Forgiveness does not mean condoning hurtful or ignorant behavior, but it does involve letting go of the past.  Resentment literally means to re-feel or feel again.  It saps our energy and allows us to be controlled by another – alive or dead.  Our unwillingness to forgive attaches us all the more to the pain of grief.

The act of forgiveness offers the freedom to grieve and heal in the present.  Giving forgiveness will not change the past, but it will change us, and the possible future, forever.

Is there anything we can do to make peace with less-than-perfect relationships after someone dies?  I believe that writing unsent letters to people who have hurt us – alive or dead – can be liberating.  By knowing we are not going to post the letter, we have complete freedom to say anything we want.

Writing letters that we do not mail is a safe expression for the raw emotions of grief.  We can become physically and emotionally unwell if we do not give voice to our powerful emotions.  Venting the anger and/or resentments we have towards them will free us from our negative emotions.

The whole idea of letter writing is to fully express any negative emotion that you harbor so you can move towards forgiveness.  We do not forgive others because it is the right thing to do.  We forgive because it is the loving thing to do for ourselves.

In the letter to them, write what happened, why it hurt you and how you felt about it at the time. Describe the way this has had a lasting effect on your life.  Use your words to say everything you need to say to this person.

When you have written this letter, read it out loud to yourself as though you were actually addressing the person face-to-face.  You may also want to read it to a picture of this person, or at their graveside.  Allow yourself to feel the emotions, whether sadness, anger or fear.  I suggest shredding the letter or burning it after you have read it out loud.  You may need to read it more than once before you sense completion.

Namaste.

 

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Intentions

The Universe is always in a constant state of ‘yes,’ putting opportunities, people and situations on our paths at exactly the time we need them.  When your Intentions are clear, the Universe has a way of assisting you by placing you in the ideal situation so that you can manifest your Intention.  Your task is to be aware and pay attention to what shows up in your life and act on it, because the actions you do or don’t take are the key to achieving or not achieving the outcome you want.  Without action there’s sluggishness, resistance, fear and avoidance.

When you  have the absolute want and courage to take action on your Intention, your Soul just opens up and life responds by becoming more happy.  When you’re open to the flow of life, it’s easy to let go of the resistance that may have been holding you back from making whatever changes you want.  But you’ve got to be willing to do your part to enable the Universe to work its magic for you.

So how can you assist the Universe with helping you to create whatever you want in life?

The Universe is always assisting us in creating the life we’re living by tapping into the energy and emotions we’re allowing to flow from us.  If you’re feeling fearful and scared, the Universe will send you more of that energy.  If, on the other hand, you’re feeling joyous and courageous, more of that energy will flow to you too.  Remember the Universe is in a constant state of ‘yes.’  Be positive in your Intent, do not blame others for it not happening in the time-frame that you ‘want,’ look to your own actions that are preventing the manifestation of your Intentions.  It is not “I will” or “I can,” it is “I Am….”

Namaste.

 

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Count Your Blessings

I believe that when we face hard times, problems or sadness in our lives, it is also important that we count our blessings too.  This helps us to be more thankful about all the good things that we have and have done, instead of just focusing on our worries.  You might think, what is the big deal with counting your blessings, it won’t make my problems go away….  This is very true, counting your blessings will not make your problems vanish into thin air, but it will help you cope with the negative emotions and thoughts that might be getting in the way of you actually appreciating every good thing you are already blessed with, and give you the strength and determination to overcome the bad stuff.  Let’s be honest, life will always have its ups and downs, but take heart and keep the faith and know that “this too shall pass.”  Whatever problems you are facing right now, know that how you feel in this moment will only get better and tomorrow is a ‘new day.’  Do not let your problems dictate how you think about life in general.

Namaste.

 

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Grieving Process

Losing someone or something you love or care deeply about is very painful.  You may experience all kinds of difficult emotions and it may feel like the pain and sadness you’re experiencing will never let up.  These are normal reactions to a loss.  There is no right or wrong way to grieve.

Grieving is a personal and highly individual experience.  How you grieve depends on many factors, including your personality and coping style, your life experience, your faith, and the nature of the loss.  The grieving process takes time.  Healing happens gradually, it can’t be forced or hurried — and there is no “normal” timetable for grieving.  Some people start to feel better over a period of months.  For others, the grieving process is measured in years.  Whatever your grief experience, it’s important to be patient with yourself and allow the process to naturally unfold.

Namaste.

 

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Time

The concept of time in the Afterlife is very different to ours, they do not have calendars or clocks and how long they are passed is of no meaning to them.  Some Spirit connect with us in a very short space of time and others can take much longer.  I believe this has to do with their ability to accept that they have departed this life and of course, can have a lot to do with the circumstances of how they passed.  Spirit want very much to let us know that they are still with us, still love and care for us and to reassure us that they are in a good place surrounded by family and friends who passed before them.  We do not disturb or hold them back by wanting a sign that they are happy.  Never be afraid or unsure of asking your Loved Ones to let you know they are still with you, they are very happy to do so.  Don’t worry if it sometimes takes time, as soon as they are ready and able to do so, they will.

Namaste.

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Forgiveness

A lot of readings and Spirit messages involve the need to let go of hurt, resentments and ‘toxic’ people in our lives.  This is something that we find hard to do, not realising that holding onto the pain of it limits our growth and will impact on us not just emotionally but almost certainly on our physical health too.  In a lot of cases, we are not going to get an explanation or indeed an apology for what has occurred and so we need to release ourselves from it.  The amount of time that it takes to achieve that ‘release’ is not important, only that we do ‘release’ that negative energy.

Ultimately, the act of forgiveness releases us from past hurts, memories and enslavement.  Alternatively, to not forgive is to surrender oneself to the control of others and allow the present to be consumed by the past.  If we choose not to forgive, we subject ourselves to the possibility of carrying anger, bitterness and resentment into future situations and relationships, as well as deprive ourselves of the peace of mind, health and happiness we deserve.

Remember, by forgiving, we are not condoning the negative behavior.  We do not have to tell the other party that we are forgiving them, it is for our benefit and not theirs.

Namaste.

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Memory Making

I hope that you all had a lovely weekend and made some memories; I spent mine in the company of great friends and laughter and good conversation was ‘the order of the day.’  Spend your life making good memories, value those around you that accept you for who and what you are, because one day those memories will be what you look back on and cherish.

This is something that I witness every day through those that come to visit me both from this world and the Spirit world.  Our loved ones in Spirit know and understand that we miss them and that our hearts are broken but they do want us to be happy and to remember all the happy times and not to be consumed by our loss.  They love to hear us laugh and talk of the ‘good times.’

Celebrate their lives and their time with you.  Yes, it is okay to cry and feel sad but it is also very much okay to smile and laugh when you think of them too.

Namaste.

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Signs that a Loved One in Spirit is around you…

Sometimes your Loved Ones will come back to you in vivid dreams, you may wake with a feeling that the dream was ‘real.’ Sometimes you will smell something you associate with them, it could be a whiff of their favorite perfume or after shave, maybe even pipe tobacco. Others may notice things in the house have moved from their usual position, or electrical appliances may start to play tricks. They like to leave things in our path – feathers, coins, etc. (If you come across a coin, check the date on it – it may be relevant to a Loved One that has passed). You may hear their voice or feel the warmth of their presence, or have the overpowering feeling that they have just walked into the room… everyone experiences this differently, but my advice is to accept these occurrences with pleasure and not fear, and know it’s just their way of trying to let you know you are not alone and they are with you still. I often find that when I am thinking of my beloved Dad a song will come on the radio that was a favourite of his.

Namaste.

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